Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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