I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
