Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
time to smoke my breakfast
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
