ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
