His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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