awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
