a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
