Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
