I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
