I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
