so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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