escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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