he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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