Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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