Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
