If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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