the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I've blown a few things in my day
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
