so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
