wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
