There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
