he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
