i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
