She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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