I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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