you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
