Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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