In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
