Me too!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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