Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
