thus making me awesome and them whores
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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