i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
