the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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