erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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