It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
