The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
