it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
