That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
