That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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