To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
