kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
