Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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