He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
