That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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