Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
