drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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