There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
