Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
