u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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