my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
