You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
