I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
