Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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